How do you know if you smell?

Have you ever had the experience of realising too late that the garlic you had last night is pouring out of your pores into the noses of your friends or workmates?

What about the classic question - pooh! who stepped in something? Only to realise when you check your shoes who it was.

One of the greatest difficulties in life can be to get the right perspective especially about yourself.  Because just as you can smell something and assume it is coming from someone else or you can smell of something without being aware of it yourself sometimes in relationships we can be off.

For instance, how do you know if you are a genius and have an idea that no-one else can see the merits in or are a fool and have an idea there are no merits in?  When you have a conflict with someone is it them or you that is the cause?  It is so easy to assume we are right.  For some of us our default position is to think we are right.  Unfortunately, sometimes there is a fault with our default and it is actually our fault.
For me, my default position is that I am right.  I cannot really help it, it's the default I have.  I do need to be aware of it though and make sure I can get a perspective to see myself in the right light.

Jesus talked about this tendency to see other people's problems before our own when he said "Don't judge", "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"  In other words, maybe you have the problem.

So, how do you know if you are at fault or the other person?  Well here are a few clues from my own experience;

1. When it's everyone else, it's you - If you are running into several idiots a day and not being understood by any of them... oops!
2. Get a third person's view - If in doubt, take feedback, just make a pact with yourself not to shoot the messenger if you hear what you don't want to.
3. Use a mirror - The Bible can be like a mirror.  Looking into what God reveals in the words of the Bible is of value to us if we do it.  If you genuinely read the Bible to follow what it says, it is hard to keep the planks (or be concerned about the sawdust actually). 

Ultimately you can still have the Garlic problem, where you don't even know you smell and no amount of huffing into your hand can help you to smell it because you are already desensitised.  What you must realise in that case is what goes in, must come out.

Just like garlic, what we feed ourselves a diet of - in thoughts and desires and influences - will eventually come out of us, even without trying.

Smell you later.

Do not judge and you will not be judged

Do you find it hard not to judge people?  I didn't think I did, that is until I started thinking about it.  I was right about some areas, I am not very judgemental, in fact I probably don't care enough about some things I see to have to struggle about whether I am judgemental or not.  But as I have thought about it in the last few weeks, I have seen that I am more judgemental than I first thought.  

For example, for a lot of things I am very non-judgemental, things like what people wear, believe and say.  Even if it's not my belief or taste, I am happy for people to have their freedom.

But there are 2 things I have noticed.  I think I am smokist and fatist.  I don't smoke and have never done so, nor have I ever   struggled with weight/body issues.  There is something about smoking and obesity that I just don't deal with very well.  Of course I know people in both camps (some in both) and I do not sit there actively hating them, however, I find myself being very unmerciful toward them.  "If I don't smoke why does anyone need to continue such a habit", "I can keep my weight under control, why can't everyone" etc...

No doubt I have many more judgemental 'ist's', and I think the basis of being judgemental toward others revolves around one thing... me!    Judging others, whether we admit it or not, is about seeing ourselves in a positive light and what better way to do that than to contrast other's imperfections with our perceived strengths, or at least to put them below ourselves.  

There are so many things wrong with judging others but here's just a few to think about:  

1. Judging others means we take our focus off the perfection of God.  - If we judged ourselves by God's standard, we would realise that his perfection is so far out of our reach that we would not even kid ourselves by comparing our 'goodness' to others weakness.
2. Judging others takes our focus on what God is requiring of us - We distract ourselves with the self gossip of judging others in our mind, keeping us from meditating on our own need to be conformed to Jesus.
3. Judging others sets us up in opposition to them.  Whilst we are judging, we are providing ourselves with reasons why we do not have to love and support and identify with others.

Jesus said "why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brothers eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?...  ...you hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brothers eye" (Matt 7)

When you go to take the plank out of your own eye, you soon realise your own warped view.  Having compared yourself to God and started to rely on him for change you are then in a position to help others because you will be pointing them to God not your own virtue, and you will be in the same boat as them.

Ian Grant, who is a Christian communicator in New Zealand often describes himself in this way when talking of his relationship with God and encouraging others to go to God: "I'm just one beggar showing another beggar where to find bread"

I like that.  

So next time I find myself judging, I will remember my place and look to God to help me with my own plank first...